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You Missed It: I’ve got a wooden stake edition
We are now less than a week away from Thanksgiving, and that means that you probably don’t care about us. You’re more focused on the feast ahead. We hear you. That’s why The Guys will be off until...
View ArticleNightstalkers are jaywalkers
It’s obvious that vampires are en vogue lately, thanks to Twilight and True Blood and the like. But in the midst of all this, we are forgetting the real issue here: vampires don’t actually like us very...
View ArticleMasterChugs Theater: ‘Let the Right One In’
Normally, we begin a hardcore look at horror movies in October; however, we’re making an exception for two reasons. The American remake of Let the Right One In, Let Me In, opens tomorrow. October...
View ArticleMasterChugs Theater: ‘Near Dark’
The best vampire movies are usually the ones which get rid of the ground rules. e.g. no garlic, no crucifixes, a stake in the heart can kill. In Near Dark, writer/director Kathryn Bigelow throws out...
View ArticleLyle’s a less-than-goth name
It happened in John Carpenter’s Vampires, it happened in From Dusk Till Dawn (and the plethora of direct to video sequels), it happened in Near Dark and it’s happening again in Galveston: Vampires....
View ArticleA rise in night class numbers
Good news, students of Boston Latin School (located in Boston, oddly enough)! Your school does not have vampires roaming the halls, according to your headmaster. Rumors at the school have persisted...
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Take it from Snee: Explaining guns at health care protests
Rick Snee Antidisestablishmentarianism Militia August 1, 2009 Meeting Minutes Attendance: 3,171, of which 3,101 were new members as of November 5, 2008. Icebreaker: Loudest gun mods and quietest...
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Gov’t declares war on vampires (robocalls by proxy)
Somebody at the FTC must have received a prerecorded sales call, because they’re finally making the practice illegal. As of Tuesday, September 1, it will be illegal for businesses to place unsolicited...
View ArticleWe thought only vampires cried tears of blood
A Tennessee teenager is either an extremely devout fan of True Blood or a scientific mystery. Fifteen-year old Calvino Inman has been crying out tears of blood on the regular, with no explanation as to...
View ArticleRomanian zombies clog up the courts
Romania is known in this part of the world for spooky stuff, mostly, vampires. But it turns out that the country has its share of zombies, too. And they are clogging up the legal system. Constantin...
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